Date Lab: Can an extreme extrovert and introvert hit it off?

Oh wow, he’s Black!” thought Imani Keal, pleasantly surprised when she got her first look at her date on Zoom. Her next thought: “He’s Black and he’s cute too!” The 25-year-old Howard University graduate had stated a preference for dating Black men (but is “open to all races”) in her Date Lab application. She also wrote she did not have a strong desire to date a “Deloitte consultant, IPA drinking, UVA bro.”

In preparation for the date, Caston Awadzi, also 25, admitted that he tried to do a little Facebook stalking, “but it’s hard to find out information about someone based on a first name alone.” Researching a potential date is also challenging when you’re “not a social media person.” Caston sheepishly conceded to not being on any other social platform.

Imani likes being punctual, but after picking up food from her friend’s restaurant, Reveler’s Hour in Adams Morgan, and an unexpected Uber issue, she ended up logging in about 10 minutes late. Caston, an operations associate in commercial real estate, was a little dismayed by the delay.

Then Caston caught a glimpse of her tattoo and recognized it immediately as an homage to “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.” A self-proclaimed “Potterhead,” he thought their nerdiness could match up. This led to a heated discussion about the final plot twist involving Severus Snape; Imani thought the twist was captivating while Caston considered it a “cheap cop-out.” Imani then doubled down on her Harry Potter superfan status by mentioning that her dog Sal’s full name is Salazar Slytherin II.

Imani told me that Caston “killed her heart a little bit” when he revealed that he’s allergic to just about everything, including dogs. Even so, Caston likes dogs and has dreamed of owning a husky, much to his allergist’s dismay.

When the subject of college came up, they discovered they had attended Howard around the same time. Caston was in the B School (short for business), which Imani remembers as a group of intense students who walked in a pack and wore suits on certain days of the week. Imani jokingly referred to the B School as the School of Cult. “It’s not a cult!” Caston immediately shot back. “That’s what someone in a cult would say,” Imani replied with a smirk.

Caston shared that one of his college pastimes was going to the movies in Chinatown. In particular, he had a weekly ritual he called Bad Movie Tuesdays, which led Imani to ask what his favorite bad movie is. Without hesitation he replied, “The Man in 3B,” a 2015 drama with a 44 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Imani hadn’t seen it but agreed to check it out after the date.

Though Caston defines his dating age range as “two up and two down,” Imani has never dated someone younger. In this case, younger is just a few months, but their birthdays fall on the calendar in such a way that Imani started college a year ahead of Caston. So, even though their time at Howard overlapped, their social lives and class schedules did not.

Their post-college career pursuits came to the forefront of the conversation. After discussing her stints as a waitress and other customer-service jobs, Imani, who now works as a project manager in e-commerce, was surprised that Caston had never worked in the service industry. And her jaw dropped when he revealed that he previously had been a Deloitte consultant, but she pointed out that he didn’t fit the other characteristics that would earn her usual disdain.

“Would you ever want to own a restaurant?” inquired Caston, who comes from an entrepreneurial family, so the prospect sounds interesting to him. However, it didn’t sound all that appealing to Imani. “You would never get to have special moments,” she explained to him. “You have to take care of your customers first and make the experience special for them. You don’t get New Year’s Eve, Christmas or your anniversary or birthday, because they belong to someone else.” Caston doesn’t want to actually work in service. During the date, he joked that he just wants to be the owner who comes in periodically, points at the employees one by one and asks, “You good?” He looked like a soccer dad to Imani as he gestured around the room to his imaginary employees.

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Imani, who defines herself as an “extreme extrovert,” took note of Caston’s appetizing pasta from Ristorante Piccolo but didn’t seem to notice that he wasn’t drinking as she sipped a riesling. If she had asked, he would have told her that he doesn’t really drink. Having described himself as nerdy, intense and introverted in his application, he was starting to wonder if he would be a fit for someone as outgoing as Imani. “In the past, it hasn’t worked with people who were too extroverted,” he said.

“The first hour and 45 was a solid good time,” Imani remembered later. Though their personality types were different, their shared sarcasm kept her laughing throughout the evening. Yet in the last 15 minutes, she noticed some awkward silences and Caston’s eyes darting around the screen a bit, which she took as Zoom fatigue setting in.

Imani is not a “here’s-my-number kind of girl,” so she waited to see how Caston would end the date. He simply said he had plans with a friend and had to go. Imani imagines she’ll probably see him at homecoming next year. If they cross paths, she said, “We’ll share a shot and say ‘hey.’”

Rate the date

Imani: 3.9 [out of 5].

Caston: 3.

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Damona Hoffman is a certified dating coach and host of the “Dates & Mates” podcast.

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Date Lab: Can an extreme extrovert and introvert hit it off?

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